


Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive

by LeRien



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:08:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeRien/pseuds/LeRien
Summary: Nerd boy meets nerd boy. It can not be as simple as that.Nerd boy meets nerd boy. Of course, it isn't.





	

**Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive**

The first time Sollux met him, it was all Karkat’s fault.

“Dave said John was coming, so I said ‘can I bring a friend?’ and he said ‘but you have no friend’ and I said ‘fucktard, your face has no friend, I’m fucking bringing one’ and then-“

“I still don’t understand why you want _me_ to come” whined Sollux in his phone. “You could have asked KN.”

“Kanaya was already busy with her girlfriend as I fucking told you the 42 previous times you ask, are you as stupid as the asscrack you look like?”

“Sorry, I tend to filter uselessly angry bullshit when I can.”

“Well, guess what, genius, when I’m actually telling useful information, you: can’t.”

“I’ll take the risk.”

“Fuck you.”

“Sorry, didn’t hear that.”

“Rhaaaa, fuck you, Captor, you better be at Dave’s at 4, sharp or I will eviscerate you myself.”

What a drama queen.

And Sollux was not afraid of Karkat’s threats – the guy barked more than he bit – but despite everything, he supposed Karkat was one of his best friends. Which was actually quite sad since they were not even that close, but Sollux never had a lot of friends to begin with. And Karkat _did_ go to a Star Trek convention with him, it was bound to create strong friendship, right?

Sighing, he knocked to Dave’s flat’s door. He didn’t especially like Dave, but he didn’t _not_ like him either, which was more than he could tell for most people in their school. Dave was polite enough, funny at times, if a bit of a tool. Sollux couldn’t see what Karkat saw in him for the life of him but he wasn’t horrible either. He supposed Karkat could have chosen a worse boyfriend.

“It’s opened.” Said a muffled voice from the inside.

The first thing Sollux heard when opening the door was blasting, loud K-Pop. Uh. Not exactly what he expected from Dave “Cooler-Than-My-Sunglasses” Strider’s home. It was a wonder he didn’t hear it from the corridor.

More curious than he wanted to admit, Sollux peaked quickly into the room the music was from. Hey, don’t blame him, the door was wide opened. Inside, behind a gigantic, eyes-wavering pink bed, a blond guy was furiously typing on his computer, apparently unfazed with the loud voices of Girls Generation’s members.

“Yo.” He said, not pausing to turn. “You’re one friend of Dave’s?”

“Who are you?” blurted out Sollux, automatically trying to sound less raspy than usual.

The guy stopped typing and – a bit too dramatically – turned to look properly at Sollux.

“Dave’s big bro. Dirk, _enchanté_.”

And wow. Sollux guessed he shouldn’t be that surprised by how handsome Dirk was. After all, he wasn’t _blind_ , Dave was stunning too. But where Dave looked like a tool most of the time, Dirk looked like he wasn’t even trying. He was sporting a loose tank shirt and what seemed to be slightly greasy shorts. His hair were lazily ruffled and his sunglasses looked stupid.

He was the cutest boy Sollux had ever laid his eyes on. And Sollux wasn’t even _used_ to notice – or care about – beauty.

“I’m Sollux.” Sollux heard himself answer.

“Dave is gone to drive Karkat here since he lives at the far end of the city. Should be back soon.” With that and a flash smile, Dirk turned back to his screen.

Sollux’s mouth ran for a while, soundlessly. Trying not to lose face, Sollux looked around the room for the first time. It was in semi-darkness – a sign of a hardened coder, Sollux should know. Robot parts were scattered everywhere and faded anime posters decorated the walls. The only tidy thing in the room was the desk, where three big screens sit on, a keyboard and a mouse, along with two massive computer towers and _Oh my god._

“Is that a freaking _Falcon Mach V_?!”

Dirk turned again, this time with a genuinely curious look on his face. He smirked.

“Yeah, this baby is.” He said, stroking one tower affectionately. “This one is an _Origin Millenium_.”

Sollux stared, speechless. He had never met anyone rich enough to afford one of these models, let alone _both_. Even he had to build his own computers – plural – from the ground since computers with the performance he required were pretty expensive. And when he said “pretty expensive”, he meant “ridiculously fucking pricey and unaffordable for any normal human being”.

Where _the fuck_ did a guy who was at most three years older than himself find the money to pay for those?

As if he had guessed Sollux’s thoughts, Dirk’s smile grew wider.

“I started working last year, when I finished high school. The field is… quite lucrative.”

“What- What field?”

“Sex toy industry.” Promptly answered Dirk without missing a beat.

Sollux opened and closed his mouth repeatedly.

“Cool.” He said, which honestly was the worst comeback ever but _what was he supposed to say_?

The scattered robot parts seemed really more inappropriate, all of sudden. Sollux had already decided this conversation was done – despite the expectant look on Dirk’s face, if by expectant you meant fucking stoic and expressionless -, when his eyes fell on something and he almost gagged.

“Are you using counterfeit Arduino for your connected sex toys?!”

And that was a question Sollux never thought he would ask.

Dirk blinked. Twice.

“It’s less expensive.”

That had to be a joke.

“It’s low quality production and you can’t exactly complain about the prices when you can afford two computers who cost more each than the monthly wage of the average citizen.”

“It was an investment.”

“Your face is an investment!”

“Sollux, is that you?” rang Karkat’s voice from the door.

Jumping, Sollux turned around, and it suddenly dawned on him that he was arguing about sex toys quality to a fucking god-like model, and possibly insulting mentioned model’s moral too. Smooth.

“Coming.” He yelled before leaving the room without another word, his ears hot with embarrassment. Fuck, he couldn’t keep his mouth _shut_ , could he?

* * *

 

When he came back home and opened Pesterchum, new messages was shining on the screen.

TT: is your name wifi

TT: because im feeling a connection

* * *

 

The second time he met Dirk, he was sweating and swearing heavily, elbow-deep in an old Windows carcass.

“Roxy, I kinda need a hand!”

“Yeah, yeah, give me a minute!” Roxy, usually bubbly and easy-going if a little high, looked for once as annoyed and flustered as he was, furiously typing on her laptop, since every single computer of the school’s workshop was down.

“I can’t believe a fucktard wired this fossil to the school network without a throughout check-up.” Raged Sollux.

“I know!” agreed Roxy in frustrated tone. “And now, everyone is complaining at us, as if it is _our_ fault, I’m going to _murder_ Eridan… Oh, thank _God_ you’re here, Dirk!”

Sollux wiped around his head. Dirk was standing there, as calm as you please.

“Yo, Rox. Heard the whole network was down?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” asked Sollux. Which was, admittedly, quite rude.

“Rox called me this morning for, I quote, an ’xtreme af emergency!!!’. What’s the matter?”

“An idiot connected this to the network and probably propagated a virus so now, the computer is fuming, the network’s down and we are neck-deep in shit.”

“Classy.” Sighing, Dirk bent over the computer Sollux was torturing. “Go with Rox and try to get the network working, I’m fixing up this bitch, I’m better with electronics than software anyway.”

“How are you even here, I thought you finished high school?” said Sollux while complying.

“Yeah, well, no teacher was gonna prevent a graduate who was top of his class for four years straight to come back if he damn wants to.”

Pulling a face, Sollux opened his own laptop and logged up on the network as an administrator.

“Staying late at school because of an idiot who can’t tell his computer from his dick isn’t what I had in mind when I applied to be in IT student staff.” He grumbled.

“Cheer up. We have a valid reason to fire Eridan now.” Said Roxy without turning her eyes from her screen.

And well, she had a point.

They worked in silence for the better of the next two hours before the computers around us finally started beeping. Pulling back, Sollux sighed in relief.

“Good work, team!” exclaimed Roxy, brandishing victoriously her arms in the air. “I propose pizza to celebrate.”

Sollux hesitated.

“I dunno. I’m already late. My dad’s probably waiting for me.”

“Come on. It would make my heart lag.” Sollux stared, wondering how Dirk could have uttered this sentence with a straight face.

Well. That definitely spelled out a ringing “No”.

* * *

 

He almost groaned when he saw Dirk’s new message.

TT: im not being obtuse but youre acute boy

* * *

 

“Please, kindly tell your brother to stop hitting on me with awful and nerdy pick-up lines.” Sollux begged the next day when he saw Dave.

“But Sollux, you’re awful and nerdy, it must be perfect for you.”

Sollux glared. Dave was lucky he was Karkat’s boyfriend or he would have already answered. Oh, who was he kidding, that kind of thing had never stopped him anyway.

“Just because Karkat and you are equally mentally challenged doesn’t mean stupidity is a reasonable common ground for stable relationships.”

Karkat groaned. “Shut the fuck up. I sometimes wonder why we’re friends, Sol’.”

“A great and ever-renewed mystery.” Grumbled Sollux in his cup of coffee. “But I’ll draw a wild guess and say you were tired of all the stupid people that surrounded you.”

Karkat sighed loudly.

“What bit your ass this morning? You’re acting like an asshole – I mean, more than usual.”

Guilt pooled in Sollux’s chest. Karkat was right, and he was lashing his bad mood on his friend.

“Yeah, sorry.” He said in a small voice. “I’m awful.”

“I never said you are but yeah, sometimes, you act like you were.” Karkat checked his watch. “Aradia told me I had to remind you to go to the therapist at 5 so I guess you are off your meds.”

“Yeah.” Mumbled Sollux. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing and go. Talk to me when you’re chiller.”

“Will do.”

With a wave, Sollux left. Bipolarity sucked hard, but he was grateful that Karkat seemed to understand and never pushed him too hard or demanded him to be civil when he couldn’t. But then again, Karkat had anger management issues, so he knew to some extent how it felt not to be able to keep your temperament in check.

The school felt a little better without any pupils in the corridor – more peaceful, less oppressive.

“Yo, Sollux. Sup.”

This voice.

“FUCKING FUCK OFF!”

Dirk looked at him and then slowly put his glasses up in his hair.

“Bad day?”

Sollux wasn’t listening. He was staring at his eyes, whose colour was oscillating between molten gold and bright orange. He felt horrible. He thought of his own eyes, hidden behind bicolored glasses to prevent people staring.

And he burst into tears.

“I’m so-so-sorry.” He sputtered before running down to the exit.

God, he really needed to see his therapist.

* * *

TT: dave told me you were off your meds

TT: you ok

TT: you dont have to answer

TT: your calves must ache because youve been back marching through my mind all day

Curled up in the security of his bed, Sollux almost smiled. Almost.

* * *

 

“Dave told me you have a boyfriend.” Sollux tried not to sound too hurt. He guessed it was inevitable. Who would have seriously pursued him?

“That’s… complicated.” Was the answer.

Well, that was just not good enough.

“Cut the bullshit, Dirk, for once.” Matching his gesture, he pushed up his glasses, revealing a brown left eye and a blue right one – “proofs of your Hispanic and European heritance” his father would always say, which was a big fat sack of bullshit but it was comforting. “I’m just trying to figure out where- where we stand here.”

Dirk shrugged but Sollux could see he was tense.

“Well, there was this very cute nerdy boy I tried to court but he never seemed to answer my advances so I kind of… gave up? And Jake was… there. He has always been there.”

Sollux nodded.

“So we’re friends?” he asked, uncertain.

Dirk stared as if he was a complete moron.

“Of course, we’re friends.”

* * *

 

There was no message this night.

* * *

 

“You’re such an ass.”

Sollux didn’t deny it. Karkat was right, he _was_ an ass.

“I can’t deal with your smitten love for my boyfriend’s brother.”

“Of course, you can. You’re fucking enjoying all this romance drama.”

“I’m going to ignore that.-“

“Whatever.”

“Stop acting like a piece of shit.”

“Hate to break it to you, but that’s my natural behaviour.” His shoulder slugged. “Anyway, he doesn’t matter. He would have given up, sooner or later. The only variable was how much it would hurt.”

“And here is the flowery optimism of the Sollux I know and love.” Karkat sighed. “Why didn’t you ask him out?”

“I wasn’t even _aware_ I liked him, I thought I found him annoying.” It was so frustrating, never being sure of your own emotions. “And if I had known, I wouldn’t have asked. Nobody deserved a mess like me as a romantic partner.”

“If you remember, I _did_ date you at one point.”

“Karkat, we were in 8th grade. None of us were taking it seriously.” After a moment of silence, Sollux propped himself on his elbow, looking incredulous. “Oh my god, you actually thought I was the love of your life, didn’t you?”

“Shut up.”

“Oh, Karkat, I swear my undying love…”

“I said, shut up!”

Sollux laughed a raspy laugh but complied. A comfortable silence installed itself between them.

“I miss him.” Sollux confessed. “Which is fucking stupid because I haven’t even seen him that much to begin with. I just feel that he kind of… understand me?”

“Love isn’t rational.” Declared Karkat sagely.

“Stop quoting your shitty romance novels at me.”

“It is _art_.”

“Whatever you say, KK.”

* * *

 

This evening, Sollux stared nervously at his keyboard. Somewhere it was fitting that their way of flirting was online but.

TA: baby you make my floppy dii2k turn iinto a hard driiv-ve

* * *

 

“I ditched Jake.”

Dirk was clutching at his phone and staring right through him.

“Oh.” Sollux managed to say.

“It wasn’t working.”

“Right.”

They stared at each other without a word.

“I think Mac users are basically douches.” Dirk blurted out.

Sollux couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“I’m a Mac user.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“Mac provides as many options as Linux and is as flexible, whatever you say.”

“I use Linux on principle because I want to do _my shit_ on my computer.”

“Well, you’re certainly pretentious enough to use your own OS.”

“How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.” Sollux was smiling in full now. “Would you like to go on a date with me? There’s a Star Trek marathon on TV tonight.”

“Gladly.”

* * *

 

This night, his phone vibrated as their fingers were intertwined.

TT: hey my names Microsoft. can I crash at your place tonight?

“You’re such a nerd.” Sollux shook his head. “Of course, you can stay.”

 

The end

**Author's Note:**

> Not great but it's just feel-good.


End file.
